Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
