im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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