do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
