best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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