You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
