I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
