I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
