I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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