Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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