Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
