thus making me awesome and them whores
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
