Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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