Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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