Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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