I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
