Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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