He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
