six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize