Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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