One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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