If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My day in three words: secret purse cake
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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