Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
