well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So many bounce houses so little time
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
