so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
