i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
