I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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