Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Two words: blizzard sex
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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