i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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