I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
