Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
