So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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