He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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