Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
