hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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