took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
