He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
