You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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