I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i dont even know how to be here
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
