dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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