I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
