It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
