Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize