she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
