I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize