now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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