Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
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