I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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