I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
