hell yes lets make some ravioli
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
