Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
