sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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