Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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