i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Randomize