And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
a search helicopter?!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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