I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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