Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Who died my cat blue again?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
