doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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