You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
so much tequila, so little girl.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
