We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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