Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
