my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
