We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
