Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
